Things you only learn in college

- Quarters are like gold.

- You will never find so many excuses for a bucket.

- Asleep by 2:30 am is an early night.

- Duct tape heals all wounds. (If not, scotch or masking tape will suffice for awhile.)

- 10 minutes is more than enough time to get ready for your first class

- Squirt guns equal stress relief.

- Frat parties are exactly like they are in the movies.

- Ten-page papers used to sound impossible, now they’re a Godsend.

- You never realized so many people are smarter than you.

- You never realized so many people are dumber than you.

- Bum rides, money, notes and snacks as much as you can get them.

- Plain pasta never constituted a complete meal before.

- Frisbee becomes a contact sport.

- Care packages rank up there with birthdays.

- Any game can be made into a drinking game.

- You will hear more stupid nicknames than you ever thought possible.

- Beware the boy in the Care Bear toga.

- You learn to sleep with light, noise, extreme temps, and roommates snoring.

- Procrastination becomes an art.

- Boys will dance in college.

- It’s amazing how late you can stay up doing absolutely nothing, yet falling asleep in class or in the library takes an average of two seconds.

- Printers only break down when you desperately need them.

- You get along so much better with your family now that you never see any of them.

- Your life will never be the same again.