7 Things to look for when considering marriage
Don't Just Dismiss Their Past
Is there a chapter of their history that bothers you because it doesn't sound like them at all? You need to consider a repeat happening. The honeymoon stage lasts approximately 18 months, after that, they may slip back to their old ways. That said, people can change, some players want to grow up sometime. Don't be afraid to ask them to explain why their past is the way it is. If the reasons are because they were, let's say in college, then it was probably just a stage. If they do it because they were stressed or didn't want commitment, be wary!
What do you NEED
Don't be dazzled by the fact that they dress well or know how to cook, because you may overlook important qualities. Make a list of the qualities you NEED from a marriage. Then make a list of extra qualities you like. The need-to-have should significantly out-weigh the extra qualities.
Look at them as they are, not your future
Let's say they haven't reached their goal in life yet, will you be happy if they never do? Remember that you're marrying the person they are now, not what they'll be one day. Also, the desire for financial security is one of the main reasons women get hitched to the wrong guy.
Know their family
Keep in mind you're marrying into their family too! And while you might be able to ignore them now, their family will play a big role in your life once you're hitched. Remember that these people will be not be just at your wedding but also at roughly half your future holidays, at the hospital when your children are born, and quite possibly on your sofa for extended visits. You will need to talk to them about how holidays are spent etc.
No spark? Trust me, one won't just pop up!
There needs to be a sizzle! Of course, if you've been together for years, it may have died down a bit, but the urge to rip off each other's clothes should still strike on occasion.
Get rid of the biological clock!
It can hold power over you and put you at a high risk of marrying the wrong person as that birthday draws close. To make sure that such fears aren't driving your decision, ask yourself if you would still be with them if you were younger.
Knowing Cold Feet Symptoms
How do you tell if your jitters are just a fleeting thing or your intuition trying to tell you you're making a mistake? Pay attention to when your anxiety strikes — is it during wedding talk or when you're talking about them? If you're not sure that you have the one, then you don't.
A Cool Sign
A recent study found that couples who laugh and smile when they retell how they met are statistically way less likely to end up divorced.
SOURCE: University of Washington Study
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